Saturday, May 31, 2008


Well, we have been matched again. Introducing our baby girl Xi, Tao Xuan who is an almost 12 mth. old beauty from Wuxi Orphanage in Jiangsu Province. We are awaiting preapproval now and hopefully we will not be too far behind our orginal schedule. Tao Xuan is a beautiful little one and we are excited to be able to bring her home. We were able to see some video footage of her and her need and she is so sweet and calm. Dad said right away "we'll fix that calmness". I said "we need some calm in this house leave her be. " Somehow we have never had an easy-going child in our home and this is number 6. Do you think it is something we are doing????? She has the sweetest face and expressions and we find ourselves falling in love with her. She is adorable.

Needless to say I have had a roller-coaster of emotions this week as we reviewed her file and determined if she was the one. I know anger is one stage of grief and I found myself angry that Malia would not be coming home and then again anger when I looked at the special need that this little one had and thinking ---these little people have so many challenges in their young lives--life is just not fair.

Tao Xuan has what we think is fibular Hemimelia which is an orthopedic issue with her lower leg and foot. We have consulted with an Orthopedic Doctor in our area and will get several opinions to determine the best course of action to take with her leg.


Linda said...

Thank you for sharing your story on the LCC Yahoo Group. It is so hard to understand the `whys' on this side of heaven. We lost our 25 year old son in 2003, and I still ask `why' even knowing that many good things came to be as a direct result of his death. Then in 2004, while awaiting our first adopted daughter, we lost our little newborn handicapped baby, a wonderful little boy who was born to me at age 45. I was so dead inside, and I can still say that not one day passes that I do not think of my sons. Even with this said, I will tell you that had our youngest son lived, we would not have adopted our our other two daughters. I have to believe that God knew I would see my sons again someday, and in His sovereign plan, he wanted these three little girls to come to the US and be our daughters. That sounds much more spiritual than I often feel, but I do believe it to be true.

I will pray for your heart to heal and not be bitter, but I will pray that you never forget your great love for Malia because she too is your sweet little girl. Blessings.

David and Sarah said...

I saw your post on the LCC Yahoo group. Though we did not lose a child through death, we did lose a child because the CCAA had accidentally sent his file to two agencies. I am certainly not comparing the death of a child to not being able to adopt a particular child, but I do know that the emotions of then accepting the referral of another child can be very confusing and difficult. We ended up adopting our wonderful little boy and love him like crazy, but the emotions of losing the other little boy made attaching to the new one so difficult. You will be in my prayers.